Fall To do List 2015

*cocktail party with friends. i'm thinking hot toddy's and a good pot roast.


*apple picking with liza and lucy.


*fill up some disposable cameras- always my favorite pictures, but i tend to only do them in the summertime. i don't want the babies to grow up thinking we did nothing the other three seasons. ha!


*send greg to work with a love note. one of my favorite things to do, but it's been so long!


*host new people for dinner- we're overdue for some getting to know neighbor dinners. it can be intimidating to host people you really don't know well, but afterwards i always feel like it was so worth it. also, this way people could know us beyond just "the people who walk around their yard/the neighborhood in pajamas everymorning."


*take family pictures for our christmas card! so excited about this one.


*cairn homecoming! i've got eliza practicing her cheerleading and this morning i heard her cheering for the guy that delivers our groceries.


*catch a westfield high school soccer game with the girls!


*get mums and pumpkins for the porch


*some zoo and museum trips


*the annual LBI fall trip- two years ago it was Eliza's first trip out overnight, and this year it will be lucys!


*get to know the other parents of kids in eliza's little class.


*get to the library more often! before eliza's school day, maybe? I'd love to make it a part of our little routine one of the days she goes to school, since the library is so close. it would be good for my reading list and good for the girls too. can't wait to read Cranberry Halloween and Cranberry Thanksgiving with them this year! My mom used to read them to me and i loved them.

OOTW/1

An experiment to see what I actually wear. Hopefully I'll snap a picture every time I actually get dressed... which means there will probably be like 4 ish pictures a week. TBH i'm sitting here in yoga pants, so... not picture worthy. 

Clockwise from top left:

1- target khaki joggers, old navy pink sweater, vans

2- abercrombie dark chambray, abercrombie tee, gap black cords, birks, watch

3-abercrombie tee, gap skirt, lands end chambray flats

4-gap swing grey striped sweater, black cords again! vintage cuff, frye flats

5- thrift store (mens! lined with fleece!) flanel, abercrombie tee, lucky jeans, chambray flats

6- same dark chambray! same black cords! same birks! i guess i have favorites! yurman ring

so basically... here's hoping it gets more exciting. right now the getting dressed priorities are as follows:

*can i nurse in it?

*can i sit in it without feeling like i gained 1000 pounds during pregnancy?

*if eliza ran away in the parking lot COULD I CHASE HER?

it's friday and i like things

beauty stuff:

wearing this on my nails- the perfect navy alllllmost black. 

super into bright blush and a matching toned lip lately. suggestion- 

nyx flamingo blush with Mac Candy Yum Yum lipstick

ran out of this moisturizer this week and i'm mourning it. i basically bought it thinking OH NO WAY this will justify its 18$ price tag. and now i stare at the empty container of it on my vanity ever night. it's so good i don't want to throw out the empty package. dysfunction! but just fyi- it feels like a dream... and i don't really have dry skin at all. 

since lucy arrived i've been de-cluttering (or TRYING) like a crazy person and trying to simplify. it's like reverse nesting and it is FAR more real than nesting was for me. i went through my nail polishes and put the ones i'm most likely to wear in the fall towards the front and the ones i'm least likely to wear in the back. fall favorites- dark blues and greens, lots of nudes, and metallics, always. 

of course eliza only wants barbie pink polishes, so we've been reaching for those pretty often. (maybe should have thought about that when i did my organizing.)

feeling like my beauty look this fall will likely alternate between a cat eye and bold lip with a bare face, like this, and a more graphic, colorful cat eye with naked everything else, like this, this, or this. 

wearing stuff:

this blog is thought provoking. 

i am 100% not a minimalist by anyone's definitions, but this post about a personal uniform (and it's part II) was surprisingly informative. first post on wardrobe from the whole capsule perspective that felt freeing and not limiting. 

it's narrowing down my search for the perfect things to use my upcoming birthday money for! i'm super into these hi top sneaks for skinny jeans and dresses, these perfect clogs with tights, and this nursing friendly (AND REVERSIBLE AND GORGEOUS) dress.

cooking stuff:

OH MY WORD this autumn lasagna. Made for my in laws the other day and died. went to heaven, came back. made extra sauce and froze it because i want to continually surround myself with it. that good. that autumnal. so much delicious in your mouth.

these crock pot carnitas were also a giant success but word to the wise: a 5 LB ROAST IS HUGE. it is huge. it will feed your family for many days, even if your husband is a giant and eats like it and your toddler eats 6 full meals a day. we had many carnitas themed breafast, lunches, and dinners. LOL.

eliza and i made some pumpkin chocolate cookies with pecans for us and neighbors... google the recipe, any recipe. cant go wrong with those ingreds. ours were weird looking because eliza is two and did not use a spoon to get them on the baking sheet. still yummy.

reading stuff:

hoping i get back into the swing of reading soon. so many exciting things on my list to read.

still trying to finish Jurgen Moltmann's The Crucified God.

reading thru 1-3 John right now. is it just me or when you haven't read the bible in a while, when you come back to it it's almost like your fluency is rusty? yeah... my fluency is rusty. NAP BABIES NAP. 

have about 1000 social psychology books, novels, and things by brene brown in my amazon cart, just waiting to be purchased and read. hopefully soon!

ok i think we're going to whole foods to pick up our ninetyseventh pumpkin of the (just started) season and drink smoothies. WEEKENDZ. 

assorted inspiration for the craziest week.

You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love. 

-Jim Carey

It was you who opened up springs and streams;

you dried up the ever-flowing rivers.

The day is yours, and yours also the night;

you established the sun and moon.

It was you who set all the boundaries of the earth;

you made both summer and winter.

-Psalm 74

Great people do things before they're ready. They do things before they know they can do it... Doing what you're afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that- that is what life is. You might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that's really special and if you're not good, who cares? You tried something. Now you know something about yourself.

-Amy Poehler, my soul sister.

In between goals, there is a thing called life, that has to be lived in and enjoyed.

-sid ceaser

there's a lot to be overwhelmed by so I'm going to write a list now of all the awesome stuff going on here. 

*found the cheapest yummiest whole bean coffee. 

*drinking it now. (who cares if it takes me 4 hours to finish one cup? I WILL FINISH IT.)

*made my own saltwater spray for my hair. never washing my hair again. turning into a mermaid slowly. 

*have not yet misplaced anything major in the move. (don't ask me whether i've misplaced anything minor)

*it is still summer, and i love summer. give me all the warm weather. 

*we are all healthy and safe. this is not a given, this is a gift. 

*there is grace for me when I fail at all the stuff I need to do, because I'm not going to get it all done. 

manifesto

Summer 2014 manifesto: a declaring of intentions. 

I will walk outside, feel the sun on my face, and remember that this is my favorite time of year. 

I will sit outside on our dirty picnic blanket and point at dogs with Eliza,

go on long walks to see things and point at more things. 

If at all possible, we will not drive someplace if we can walk there. 

I will be laid back about lots of things, but not about sunscreen and hats.

I will pare down our stuff, remembering that life isn't about stuff. 

I will be organized about this move, because ohmygoodness unpacking when you haven't been organized is the worst.

I will enjoy our new deck and our new backyard and my people even when the inside of the new house is a mess. 

I will give a million kisses to that little chicken I have.

I will hold Greg's hand and argue with him about sunscreen.

I will show Eliza the ocean and the sand and the boardwalk and I will let her eat cake and icecream. 

I will use technology as a good servant and avoid it when it is becoming my master.

I will remember it is my job to pursue my calling, and only my calling, and not anyone else's. 

I will make corn on the cob. 

I will live with less stuff in my closet (and more organized in storage?). 

I will wear lipstick whenever I feel like it. It reminds me of my mom and I like it with a tan. 

I will try to remember to whom I belong, who I'm trying to please, and who's in charge. 

Busy

"It is not enough to be busy. The question is: what are we busy about?"
-Thoreau


I read a post by the minimalists this morning that spoke of the author's distaste for the word "busy". He prefers "focused."

I would tend to agree- ideally, I would be able to pick only a few things, devote my life to them whole- heartedly, give myself to them fully. And by things I mean- goals, activities. There is a difference between your schedule being full and being "busy."

Reading along, I nodded and hmm'd. I felt agreement in my heart but also the pain of dissonance with my own life. You know that feeling? It's "YES, YES, YES, that is what I want! Wait.... How?"

I like a full schedule- I always have. I'm not afraid to relax, I like doing things, working on things. 

Before I had Eliza, I was doing a lot. Mostly, I loved it. Being sick with her made things less pleasant. But I knew I needed a season of rest after she came to just be her mama. Not because I think that's the RIGHT THING TO DO for all people, but because I needed it. I needed to figure out what I was busy about. What my goals were, what life looked like as a mama, what life looked like as a graduate.


Now, ten months after she was born, I can tell you my schedule is just as full as it was before. Everyone has the same amount of time in the day- playing is part of that, washing dishes is part of that, being consistently buried in a pile of dress shirts to iron is part of that. Right now, I'm home, so I do a lot of "home stuff." I call to pay bills, I maintain our relationship with our landlord, I am the Ralph family social secretary and master scheduler.


I sign emails like this:

Mary Ralph
CEO: Ralph Domestic Affairs
M.A. Christian Counseling


LOL.


I'm getting off topic. Anyway- the point is, if I was to ascribe to the minimalists point of view- to be focused, not to be busy, I'm sort of maxed out.,


My focuses would be : Greg Ralph, Eliza Ralph, assorted playdates and meals.


Honestly- in terms of how much effort and time goes into those things, I could easily pour myself into them completely and do my best and be "focused".



But being focused is sort of a single girl's game. At least, it is in the way I read about it this morning.


If and when I add more "stuff" to the schedule, it likely will not fall under those categories. It will be work or school or painting or trying to write more. It will be a stretching of myself and my schedule, and likely my family. I will need help. I will not always be capable in and of myself to be focused.


I'm good with that. I like the clean lines of "focused," but I live in the blurry lines and gray area of something else. It's not that I want to be busy, per se, I just think it might be impossible for me as a mama and a wife and a person who feels called to (additional) things to be beautifully and minimally focused.


It's more likely that I'll be radically challenged by the messy busy-ness of my life and that I will need to fall hard on the help of other people and the grace of my God.

I guess what I'm getting at is that being "focused" in my sinful mind sort of equates to "able to do it by myself because it's within the realm of what I'm currently capable of." And I'm not so sure I want to live there.


Boundaries are good and so is taking care of yourself. And I'm super duper not arguing that.


But my life is full and will probably get fuller, and so I'm sort of abandoning that pretty and pristine focusedness for the quote above. Because I agree that it's not enough to be busy.


what am i busy about?


Is my busy-ness purposed? Is my busy-ness glorying in my weakness so that Christ's strength is evident and visible? Is my busy-ness honest? (About when I need help and when I need a break and when I need a pep talk?)




I want to busy about the work of the kingdom, about God's calling on my life, about the Church, about my family's peace and communication and sweetness. I want to be busy about enjoying God's gifts, and (hopefully even more) enjoying the Giver.



That's all. I guess I'm back to blogging?

Fall To Do List 2013

Fall to do:

Just uploading this Mid October, so that's...fine. 

Good news is, I've already completed a lot on the list! Yay!

Make home made soups.

(Have done this twice so far! One was a strange goat cheese and broccoli invention, and the other was a more traditional mushroom and barley from (crazy) a cookbook. Wild stuff.)

Make a whole chicken in the crock pot. 

(Done! But there was so much meat it didn't alllll get used. So not Pocahontas of me.)

Care package for Anna.

(Going out any day now- Eliza keeps growing out of more stuff so the package isn't complete.) 

Scotch and Scrabble party.

(Done! Sort of. We drank a lot of scotch down the beach for my birthday and forgot to play Scrabble. Ha)

Exercise Class or a Run once a week.

(Mostly! Hot yoga is becoming a fave. As is rolling out my sore IT band from running.)

Get a pumpkin.

(Check! Also can check off the list- forget pumpkin is old and let it rot on front stoop for a while.)

Garlands.

(Made, hung, boom, roasted.)

Paint a canvas.

(Not yet!)

Fix up the laundry room/entry.

(Yes!!! Could be more fixed, but hey. It's a start.)

Buy and read cranberry farms and make way for ducklings.

(Library, boo ya.)

Library card.

(first one I checked off the list.)

Not so bad, fall 2013!