WIL/ October

pictures from our little beach trip this october. <3 

hmm. what i learned this month. 

so cheesy, but i love birthdays. this year, the actual day was a bit of a bummer, to be honest. greg had to leave for work before i or the girls were awake, he came home after the girls had already been put to sleep. eliza acted up at a friends house so we couldn't stay. (one of those moments where you put your foot down and then regret the ultimatum because it punishes you also.) it was lonely and a little stressful. i made all the meals, did all the dishes. there was much screaming and gnashing of teeth (from the girls).

greg really felt bad- he was so upset to not be home. if i remember correctly it was an unexpected thing for him to be gone the whole entire day. i kept thinking to myself wow this is a bummer. but what i learned is that i can handle it. it's just nice to think back to five years ago and wonder- how would this have gone down then? i don't know if back then i would have been cool with a "oh let's just celebrate my birthday next weekend instead." 

and then the next weekend came! beach weekend! so much fun, so much daddy time. i didn't have to change a single diaper. it was so, so fun. not restful, but so fun. greg and i kept looking at each other like OK BUT WHEN DOES THE NIGHTTIME COME? we miss dates, we miss leaving the house at night, we miss getting to choose what to do during the day without taking into account 12,000 factors like naptime and feedtimes and crabbiness.  OF COURSE WE DO IT WAS AWESOME. 

but what have i learned? we can also handle it. we can handle that hope deferred. we're taking care of each other and we're different and better as a couple than we were when we could run around free of those 12,000 considerations. we love deeper and are better teammates and know each others drink preferences for after the girls are asleep. 

october just seemed to be a good month for discovering that even when my resources seemed sort of depleted, i actually by god's grace had a storehouse of riches. god's grace has changed me and has changed greg and i together over time, and i'm feeling sustained and prepared and grateful.