WIL/ September

i love the idea of writing out some bullet points of what i learned each month, on the first of the next month, SO. what i learned/september edition.

* two kids is hard. and also i forgot about how hard infants are? like i feel like i had my brain wiped. 

*it gets better so much faster than you think it will. right now i'm still regularly overwhelmed, and bedtime is still CRAY. BUT we have systems for things, i feel like im getting to know this kid, and we're eating normally again. i get a shower 6 days a week. it gets better so fast!

*on that note, oh my goodness i love cooking. its so nice to be brought meals when you've just had a baby, and it's not like i was going to whip up a gourmet meal right after coming home from the hospital, but i realized this month how much fun i have putting together meals. i love planning meals ahead of time, i love cooking things i've never made before, i love knowing my girls and greg are getting nutrients. it's honestly one of only a few creative things in my life right now. energizing! not draining... but i don't think i necessarily knew that before this month.

* i need to give myself more grace. always true, but i was feeling it this month. feeling the pressure of when i should bring my babies out for long errands, when i should be comfortable with people holding them, when i should be cleaning my house. this month was another lesson in God's grace for doing things imperfectly. i can't be the exact same mom i was for eliza now that louisas here... and i cant be the exact same mom i was for eliza when she was a newborn for louisa. it's so hard to give up this imagined ideal for me, but grace helps me live in reality. the messiness of doing my best. 

*getting out of the house is great, but i love my house with new babies. we've done a lot of great little baby trips out of the house on the weekends, and it's been wonderful. helps eliza feel like she's getting her little adventures (and greg too), stretches me to be more flexible, and is just fun. but i'm also learning that with little, tiny baby newts like lucy, i need to just express when i need to be home. and man, i'm so grateful for our house. little things, like a thrown together gallery wall, garage sale rocking chairs, or a two minute walk to the park down the street remind me what a good thing we've got going here.